20-10-20

For a moment, I stopped breathing. I pinched myself to make sure it wasn’t a dream. The feeling I got watching the live Instagram video was something I’d never felt in my life. It wasn’t pain, it wasn’t agony. It was madness. I was losing it. I felt like a grenade ready to explode. I was a mess of emotions. I couldn’t scream even when every cell in my body was urging me to. I cried, yes. But crying was an expression so little compared to what I was feeling on the inside. I wanted to tear at my hair and curse. I wanted to burn something. For the first time in my life, I considered drinking myself to stupor.

The following days were cloudy. Blood, bones, screams, gunshots and wailing were all I could think about. I’d have nightmares and sleep paralysis. Google called the other thing that happened to me a “panic attack”. I wasn’t sure about what to do next.

Now I’m sure I’m not the only Nigerian going through this phase. We all have felt pain and terror and sadness since that terrible night. But we must not give up.

Jimoh Isiaq, Ayomide Taiwo, Precious Odua, Richard Gora, Modebayo Awosika, Chinedu Ani, Chika Ibeku and all other innocent souls are gone, but there is one thing they’d want. If I die fighting for this cause there’s one thing I’d want; To continue the fight even fiercer and stronger and WIN.

Dear Nigerian youth, do not loose hope. Remember it gets worse before it gets better. We have experienced dark days and faith is dwindling. Please let us stand together, undivided as one and forge ahead in pursuit of victory.

Now in the pursuit of victory, wisdom must be exercised to the fullest. Let us come together and re-strategize. We deserve so much more than this. I refuse to throw in the towel. There is always a way!

Remember our fallen heroes? Did they die for nothing? No! We will rise with their dreams and End Police Brutality. We will not end there. We will re-organize and create solutions and develop ideas.

Honestly, I don’t know how. But what I know is that we are not failures. There’s a bright tomorrow. I may be very sad at the moment, but I choose to hang on to the belief that with a plan, we can do this.

Dear Nigerian Youth, you are smart, you are strong, you are powerful, you are wise, you are astounding and you will build Nigeria in one way or the other.

Don’t loose hope. You’ve got this.

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